Anxious

     I have been checking the tracking information at least 10 times a day since I placed my TSFLorder.  I can't wait! I hoped it would arrive today, but it looks like it won't be here until tomorrow, so I can't start until Saturday.  I know that it will be really hard to stick to the 5 & 1 plan, but I am ready.  I thought that I should start really eating healthy this week to prepare my body before the drastic calorie cut, but then I think that it will be a long time until I can eat certain foods, so I better get them in!  It's silly, I know, but a struggle!

     Last night I met some friends for dinner.  We get together every month and I love them dearly.  However, I felt so uncomfortable lat night.  I was the fattest one and felt so ugly. One of my friends gave us each some pictures that she took from our last get together and I was shocked at how much bigger I am than the others!  While getting ready to go out, I changed my clothes 3 times.  I feel so unattractive at this weight as well as ashamed.  My feet hurt, I'm tired all of the time and I feel out of control.  I am ready.  Saturday will be my first day and I plan to stick to it 100%.  It will be hard, but not as hard as being a fat personal trainer.  I am ready to lose this weight and never gain it back.  I want to feel good about myself and inspire others. I don't ever want to feel embarressed by my size again.